One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a
parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the
bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid
higher and higher and higher.

Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid -
the parrot was his at last!

As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I
sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this
much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!"

"Don't worry." said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you
think kept bidding against you?"

I was in the VIP lounge last week en route to Seattle.

While in the lounge, I notice Bill Gates sitting on the
chesterfield enjoying a cognac. I was meeting with a very
important client who was also flying to Seattle with me but she
was running a bit late.

Being a forward type of guy, I approached Mr. Gates and
introduced myself. I explained to him that I was conducting some
very important business and how much I would appreciate it if he
could throw a quick "hello Chris" at me when I was with my
client. He agreed.

Ten minutes later while I was conversing with my client, I felt a
tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates. I turned around and
looked up at him. He said, "Hi Chris, what's happening?"

To which I replied "Fuck off Gates, I'm in a meeting."