The tough businessman was feeling very ill and went to the doctor.

The doc examined him and backed away, saying, "I'm sorry to tell
you this, but you have an advanced case of highly infectious
rabies. You must have had it for some time. It will almost
certainly be fatal."

"Could you give me a pen and paper?" asked the businessman.

"Do you want to write your will?"

"No, I want to make a list of all the people I want to bite."

A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in Arkansas
in her new sports car when something goes wrong with the car and
it breaks down.

Luckily, she happens to be near a farmhouse. She goes up to the
farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she
says to him, "Oh, it's Sunday night and my car broke down! I
don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until
tomorrow when I can get some help?"

"Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want
you messin' with my sons Jed and Luke."

She looks through the screen door and sees two young men standing
behind the farmer. She judges them to be in the early twenties.
"Okay," she says. After they have gone to bed for the night the
woman begins to think about the two boys in the room next to her.
So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would
you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?"

They say, "Huh?"

She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so
you have to wear these condoms."

She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go at it all
night long.

Forty years later Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch,
rocking back and forth. Jed says, "Luke?"

Luke says, "Yeah, Jed?"

Jed says, "You remember that blonde woman that came by here about
forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?"

"Yeah," says Luke, "I remember."

"Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?" asks Jed.

"Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not."

"Me, neither," says Jed, "Let's take these things off."