Ever notice how a 4-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adult
voices?

Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm
hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into
my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my
wife, Karen, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned
myself to sleeping in the guest bedroom that night.

The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that it was
O.K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was
expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said
O.K.

After my next trip several weeks later, Karen and the children
picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the
plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for
my plane's arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting
for their arriving passengers.

As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running
shouting, "Hi, Dad! I've got some good news!"

As I waved back, I said loudly, "What is the good news?"

"The good news is that nobody slept with Mommy while you were
away this time!" Alex shouted.

The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area
looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of
the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was.

Work with me on this next one...

A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by the maitre'd
there will be at least a twenty minute wait and would he like to
wait in tthe bar. He goes into the bar and the bartender says,
"What'll it be?"

The man replies, "Give me a Stoli with a twist."

The bartender squints at him for a few seconds, then smiles and
says, "Once upon time were *four* little pigs..."