TO: All Department Heads
FROM: Personnel Department
SUBJ: New Employee Evaluation Forms

NAME:__________________________________  DATE:_______________________
JOB TITLE:_____________________________    DATE HIRED:_________________
DEPARTMENT:____________________________ SUPERVISOR:_________________
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ACCURACY

__DOES SHITTY WORK AND CONSTANTLY FUCKS UP
__DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT IF OUTPUT IS RIGHT OR WRONG
__PRETTY GOOD, ONLY AN OCCASIONAL SCREW-UP
__DOES GOOD WORK IF NOT PRE-OCCUPIED WITH BROADS/STUDS


RATE OF WORK

__DOESN'T DO A FUCKING THING ALL DAY LONG
__WORKS ONLY IF KICKED IN THE ASS VERY OFTEN
__DOES A LOT OF WORK AT REVIEW TIME
__GOES LIKE A SON-OF-A-BITCH IF HE THINKS HE'LL GET A RAISE
__FASTEST MOTHER-FUCKER IN THE WEST

DEPENDABILITY

__COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT MOTHER-HUMPING JERK
__NEEDS FREQUENT THREATS AND ASS CHEWINGS
__CONSCIENTIOUS ONLY IF SEX URGE IS SATISFIED
__USUALLY DEPENDABLE AT SALARY REVIEW TIME
__REALLY A RELIABLE COCK-SUCKER

KNOWLEDGE

__STUPID BASTARD, DOESN'T KNOW HIS ASS FROM FIRST BASE
__KNOWS JUST ENOUGH TO BE DANGEROUS
__ADEQUATE BRAIN POWER, BUT DOESN'T USE IT
__KNOWS MOST PHASES OF THE JOB
__SON-OF-A-BITCH REALLY KNOWS HIS SHIT

COOPERATION

__PISS POOR ATTITUDE, THINKS HE IS BEING SHIT ON
__OFTEN PISSES OFF CO-WORKERS
__COOPERATIVE ONLY IF ASS IS KISSED FREQUENTLY
__BROWN NOSER FIRST CLASS
__COOPERATIVE IF PAID ENOUGH

ORDERLINESS

__SLOPPY, DIRTY, FILTHY BASTARD-WORSE THAN OSCAR
__PISSES IN ASH TRYS, SHITS IN THE CORNER
__SOMETIMES EMPTIES ASH TRAYS AND HITS THE WASTBASKET
__NEAT AND ORDERLY
__NEATER THAN FELIX

HANDLING AND DEVELOPING PEOPLE

__CONSTANTLY PISSES OFF THE TROOPS
__FREQUENTLY GETS THE FINGER
__OCCASIONALLY GETS TOLD TO GET FUCKED
__ONLY THE JANITORS OBEY HIM
__CARRIES HATCHET AND GETS EXCELLENT RESULTS



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EMPLOYEE'S SIGNATURE

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SUPERVISOR'S