Three men were trying to guess the professions of their
respective dates of the previous evening, judging by their
bedroom performance and conversation.

The first insisted that his date had been a nurse, because she
said, "Lie back and relax. This won't hurt a bit."

The second concluded that his must have been a school teacher,
because she had said, "Do it over and over until you get it
right."

The third figured that his date must have been a stewardess,
because all she had said was, "Put this over your mouth and nose
and continue to breathe normally."

One day, a painter found himself short of help and went to the
unemployment office to hire someone for the day.

When he arrived, they didn't have any painters available, but
they did have a gynecologist there. He reluctantly took him along
to help.

A couple of weeks later, the painter returned to the unemployment
office needing temporary help again. This time there were two
painters, but instead he asked for the gynecologist again.

The clerk asked, "Why do you want a gynecologist when we have two
professional painters you can take right now?"

He said, "Two weeks ago when I hired the gynecologist, we arrived
at the house and it was locked with nobody home. But I'll be
damned if that gynecologist didn't stick his hand through the
mail slot and paint the whole house!!"