Sung to the tune of MY BALONEY HAS A FIRST NAME...

His baloney has a first name,
It's "I did not inhale."
His baloney has a second name:
"I wasn't getting tail."

He loves to sling it every day, The White House
people all just say...

That Billy Clinton has a way
Of making bullshit sound OK!

The following is (supposedly) an actual letter. The original was
typewritten, and all spelling and grammar has been carefully left
intact, including errors.

To Mr. (name omitted)
District Manager for Alabama Radio Shack
3300 N. Pace Blvd
Pensacola, FL. 32505

Dear Sire,

This letter is complain about the problems I have having with the
ham radio model number 19-1101 I had got from your company Radio
Shack. I had this shipped special to me from your store 1096
Eastdale Mall Montgomery Alabama. I was got this because I think
that i would get transmitt furthur that I did with the TRC 217 40
channel walkie talkie.

The problem that had first was when I was going to hook this
radio HTX-1000 to the antenna the conektor on the radio was wrong
it wouldn't attach to my cable. I was able to hook it finally by
making a small change in in the connektor. As soon as I tried to
use it there was no sound coming at all.

This happened for two days and I never did get to talk to anybody
the whole two days. That day the cable company came knocking my
door and said there was something causing problems at my house
and disconnekted my radio from the cable line. you knew when i
brought the Radio that I was going to use that for my antenne.
You didn't tell me not to why not?

Next time I decided to put the HTX-1000 in my automobile I
thought I would see how it worked their. I hooked it to my
CB-antenna and at least I could hear people. But what happens now
is no one wants to talk to me because they says you have to have
a licencs to talk to them. Why? I dont have to have a licencs to
talk on my CB. They'll talk to me there. Anyhow it dont matter
much anymore because somebody done took the radio HTX-1000 from
my automobile.

What I would like for you Radio Shack to do is refund my money
because I don't have the radio anymore and its not my fault i
dont and I think you should give me back my money. Also the cable
company here says that I hurt something in there line and want to
be paid fix it. It will cost $2482.98 to fix the equipment they
say was damaged because you didnt tell me not to hook it to the
cable. Please remit to me the check for $2758.53 for damages due.
To save this matter from going to court the check must be in my
hand by June first or I will turn this over to my attorneys of
law.

Thank you
(name withheld)