Two elderly women were out driving in a large car; both ladies
could barely see over the dashboard.

As they were cruising along they came to an intersection.

The stoplight was red but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be
losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light."

After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and
the light was again red, and again they went right through.

This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that
the light had been red but was really concerned that she was
losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close
attention at the next intersection to see what was going on.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely
red and they went right through. At this point she turned to her
friend and said, "Mildred! Do you know we just ran through three
red lights in a row! You could get us killed!"

Mildred turned to her and said "Holy Moly! Am I driving?"

One day a man went home early from work only to find his wife on
the couch with another man.

"What is going on here" the husband shouted at his wife and the
other man.

"Why honey," the wife sweetly replied, "were just listening to
the music."

"I do not hear any music," said the husband.

To this the wife responded, "Well dear, that is because your not
plugged in."